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Comment by fifticon | Hacker News Reader

Men and women experience dating sites very differently. Women get annoyed/numbed being bombarded with low-effort pings. Men get annoyed with low response ratio. This causes a negative feedback loop. And dating sites earn more money by not quite solving their client's problem. Though I got dates and two relationships out of dating sites, their dishonesty/manipulation was apparent to me.

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Yes, match.com has been sued by the FTC for all their fake crap and still they are doing it, especially when your profile is about to expire. A few days from that date you will all the sudden get attractive women that never bothered with you previously. These are fake accounts to get you to re-up your membership and again/even after being sued by the FTC are pulling this crap!

Yup. Nearly 20 years ago one of my friends was paid to create profiles on a dating site, and then even to respond a couple of times before ghosting people.

Facebook has been doing that to me for years. It’s tough with women because I sometimes click the bait when I think it might be someone I know who got married.

> women

Except for Black women in the US. Together with Asian men (especially from India), they have a really, really tough time. There are a number of peer reviewed studies on the matter, it seems to be a stable pattern.

I don't know if OKCupid's old metrics have been peer reviewed but black and Indian men, at least on that platform-at the time of writing-didn't even get a 20% response rate. Literally every other demographic exceeded 20%.

https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/howyourraceaff... (archived copy of the 2009 blog post)

This though isn't as clear cut as it seems. Need to normalize for born in America and just got here a year ago. Rudder doesn't normalize the data.

Have there actually been peer reviewed studies, as the OKcupid blog post isn't even normalized for race.

I recently read a book which explores these patterns using real data: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21480734-dataclysm

I'm thinking the problem is local fragmented markets. If people could date across longer distances, then I think the preference would be averaged out a lot better. For example, in the USA, Asian might not be viewed as highly but in Australia, they might be.

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