The margin on a VW isn't as high and costs significantly less on average than Lexus, so independent dealerships selling VWs have to operate on volume instead of long-term reputation and relationship building. The VW shops will be nice but don't have the time or budget for all the extra.
"Everything you described depends 100% on the individual dealership not on the brand."
This isn't the case. Just like different luxury-leaning domestic brands in Europe have levels of corporate ownership or incentive to provide certain services, leading Lexus also has what I assume is an incentive program for dealerships to offer different levels of lush care: https://www.lexus.com/guest-experience.
There will be outliers but the trends and reputations exist for often explicit reasons.