hmm thats understandable, ive found im met with that resistance with a LOT of questions i have about a lot of fields that you need an education to understand, yet somehow i manage(d), and will have to for now.

in the immediate time being, do you have any alternative, actionable advice? topics/subjects/key people i can consider or look into that you covered your 3rd year?

not saying i disagree with your comment Nor that i dont want to go the education route, trust me i would love that time and leisure, but right now my brain cant be put at ease until i understand certain things