Like I said, I’m not depressed today but have definitely suffered my share of emotional pain following the loss of my mother and the loneliness that comes with moving to a foreign country where you don’t speak the language.
Here are two frameworks I came up with during those dark years, which still help me today. Not claiming this will help you too, though I hope it does, but perhaps you can find some use in it... even if only as inspiration to find your own frameworks.
Framework 1: Myself > the ones I love > the things I do.
I found these are the building blocks of a happy life, in this order. First I need to be content with myself and to know I‘m worth of respect and love, and no one can help me with this. Then I need to actively seek and nurture the love of others (family, friends, spouse). Only then should I focus on what I‘m doing with the rest of my time (my job, my hobbies).
Framework 2: „The Mix“
This is something that rather helps me keep a happy state of mind. Every week, I try to make sure I fill it with a good „mix” of the following “ingredients”:
- Socializing: of the “deep” kind. Meaning I want to talk to people I love and make an effort to really listen to what they are saying/feeling. To empathize. I’m more interested in a few (maybe starting with one) deep relationships.
- Movement: move my body somehow, preferably outside. I try to do this 4-5x a week. Sometimes it’s just a long walk, sometimes a run, sometimes a workout. Anything counts.
- Inspiration: watch, read, listen to anything or anyone that makes you dream of what life could be.
- Appreciation: make an active effort to objectively realize that some things in your life, even if sometimes only a small few, are positive. I usually do this at night, in bed, before falling asleep.
Hope this is useful in some way. Feel free to email if you need to talk (email in profile)