What you describe is known as 'give face'. I'm white, but my ex is chinese and so i have spent a lot of time in those circles and what you write is pretty accurate.

I knew a girl, who had a minimum wage job, but bought her boyfriend a $300 sweater simply to show his parents she had money.. I asked about it, and she pretty much told me it came down to "give face".

i think it is this: "面子" and as others have written, one of the more difficult concepts for western culture to fully understand.