It varies and you can navigate around it by finding your niche (in small groups or one-on-one, people are more pleasant). But the ambient feeling of uptightness comes from a few things:
- Guarded, anxious personalities. It’s very rare to have random conversations with people, especially without them acting uncomfortable like you have an ulterior motive. Maybe this is part of city living, but on the west coast I regularly talked to people (something as simple as: in Portland, making small talk about the weather with another guy my age was somewhat jarring for me).
- People drive (and even walk) like they are the only person in the world that matters and that their head will explode if you delay them for 2 seconds. Be ready to have people aggressively tailgate you, prevent you from merging for no reason, etc. every single time you go anywhere.
- Intellectual snootiness / inflated egos / overindexing on status. I think living in the center of the political universe goes to peoples’ heads. The reality is that almost everyone is a cog that is trying in vain (almost always with good intentions) to improve the world.
- Conservative work/life norms. Like, people caring way too much about dress/appearances/etc. People behave like they’re being watched because, well, they probably are (so they don’t want to step out of line). Sometimes it feels like a pissing contest to see who can give off appearances of working harder (midnight emails, etc.)
- Insane heat and humidity in the summer understandably makes people agitated.
All that said, there are a huge number of things that are great about living there. And my views are tinted by the lens of social anxiety and the burnout I experienced there. Someone less sensitive than me may feel much differently.
I hope you enjoy your new city!