This seems... reasonable. I’m fine with Apple not turning over my passwords to the executor of my estate when I die. If I wanted them to, I’d put something specific about that in my will.
Anyway she has a way to get what she wants - a court order. I doubt that she would have great problems obtaining it. Apple are just covering their ass.
There are a lot of ways to address this, people just have to do it or face the inevitable consequences of not doing it.