Comment by ficklepickle | Hacker News Reader

Comment by ficklepickle | Hacker News Reader

Parent Full thread

Ugh. So basically, I'm doomed.

I'm on the spectrum and have no interest/ability for social posturing.

I absolutely destroyed the triplebyte front end technical test and was FastTrack-ed. Then I received zero interest, twice, despite trying to express my interest to companies. Both pre/post covid.

Right now I'm feeling extremely discouraged and frankly exhausted. Just had a phone interview for a local (Vancouver) startup. The outsourced HR person (blankslate partners) didn't even call me as scheduled, nor provide me with a number, nor respond to my email, until trying to gas light me hours later saying there must be a problem with the phone lines.

I applied for a Vue contract, to be bait and switched to a platform (toptal) only to be faced with a ridiculous algorithms test. For the front end, which is even more bizarre. No wonder they can't find Vue devs.

Everyone else just doesn't even get back to me. So I'm stuck taking whatever insane contracts come along. Right now I have one where they want a visual programming environment plus basically a WYSIWYG survey creator in a week, with no specs, no design and no API. Turns out there's no back end and it just needs to dupe investors I guess. Don't worry though, there's some terrible, uncommented existing code that is far worse than starting from scratch.

I'm technically very adept, I learn very quickly and I'm always pleasant and polite. Every contract I have ever taken on has been a smashing success. I have great reviews from people I have worked with.

I rarely complain but I'm just really having a hard moment. Just the act of writing a cover letter is emotionally and mentally exhausting. The mental gymnastics I have to perform to try and figure out what people are actually expecting and how my words will be misinterpreted are truly exhausting.

I just love programming. It's given me a purpose and I have a knack for it. I hoped it would help me find a role in society, but right now I'm not sure. Everyone talks a big game about diversity but I've yet to see it in action. I've had very experienced people look at my resume, and said it was good.

Of course I'm going to keep trying. I just needed to let that out.

In case it helps, IME many of the smaller shops are looking for folks like yourself offering no nonsense business relationships predicated on skill and professionalism vs "can you sort a list".

I know I am - I've bookmarked your website. I run a small R&D shop specializing in one-of-a-kind projects that typically have very non-standard toolchains. We are good at what we do, but we are not good at frontend work and often need a frontend dev to help us internally market a successful project -- e.g. we can build the best system ever, but if no one can see or feel it, it's always an uphill conversation to explain the value add to someone in the client organization.

Yep, should go for a smaller company, typical SV startup, they will appreciate somebody who can program and not mind the like of social skills. The issue might be location though, you either live in a tech hub or you don't, most people don't.

> have no interest/ability for social posturing

I'm not sure why your reaction to this advice is that it's posturing.

In any work environment, whether in person or remote, you're going to benefit from building relationships with the people you work with. This happens more naturally in person because conversations start 'automatically' e.g. around the watercooler, and the content that fills those conversations is the exchange of information and opinions that builds relationships.

The challenge with remote is that there is no automatic way for those conversations to start. Instead you have to consciously plan them, but the content of the conversation should be as natural as it would be otherwise.

There is some cynicism in that you'll benefit from actively building a relationship with the seniors and maybe you put more work in to that than would come naturally but that is again exactly as true in person as remotely.

They probably called it "posturing" because it is entirely synthetic. No one really cares about the game last night or whatever other nonsense there is. It is all just hollow talk to fill what might be considered "awkward silence" by some.

I'm willing to bet some high percentage of "watercooler" friends wouldn't go out of their way to help you if you were stranded on the side of the road in a rough part of town.

I prefer a small network built on something more substantial than what is premiering on Netflix.

It's hard to develop relationships when your default attitude is "idgaf about topics that interest you" and justify it as "no one cares about that" when it's not true.

Your example of a real friend also is basically "a true friend should be your personal cabbie if you're in a poor neighborhood" doesn't really show much perspective beyond your own needs and prejudices.

Being condescending about other people's interests doesn't make one a better human. It's okay to not be interested in what's premiering on Netflix, but maybe a "let and let live" approach to people being interested in things you don't care about would yield better outcomes.

Put a different way: You're essentially self-alienating yourself from a lot of people. Relationships are more readily formed and maintained when you don't knock people for their harmless interests. I don't care much about sports but I understand other people do and there's nothing wrong with that, and sometimes you find that socializing over a game can actually be enjoyable if you're not negatively predisposed.

The toxicity of MBAs have taken over after 2000 crash and 2008 financial crisis. You either have to hurdle HR or an out-of-touch manager in order to gain any entrance. There are exceptions of course still, but it's nothing like pre-2000. Companies are not invested in their people or processes anymore, use and discard is the order of the day. They've been getting away with it so long, you see what kind of leadership that generated right at the top, what consequences and long-term damage that resulted.

On the positive side, it's when we hit rock bottom, we can bounce back, unless they aim for dead cat bounce. There are people working to bring the good work-environments back. Diversity is just a by-product of that fight. Just stop supporting leadership that conquers and divide. Stop doing things just because someone tells you to.

I understand what you're talking about. The interview stage might be upsetting for quite a while but it's over when you find a right company.

Just a reminder that you could create you own company (consulting or product) to exclude hiring interviews and cover letters from your life completely.

Oh, I love vue. Do you have design chops?

Reply on news.ycombinator.com