Ask HN: How to Not Be Autistic? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How to Not Be Autistic?

4 pointskypro3 comments

I've recently been made unemployed and I'm really struggling to find a job.

I'm pretty sure I'm a good developer... I know wherever I work I tend to end up being the go to guy when devs are struggling and I know I've always been viewed very highly by those I work with.

The comments I get from interviews are always similar – technically I do a good job when I'm set a technical exercise, but my communication skills aren't up to par for the senior roles I'm applying for. I'm fairly sure it's my autism that makes me so bad at communication, although I know people on the spectrum who are very articulate so perhaps I have something else wrong with me.

The problem I'm having is that in interviews I can't translate the thoughts in my head into words so I come across poorly. I don't know how common this is, but I don't have words for most the stuff I do. I tend to think of things visually then struggle to convert those visual ideas into words.

I was trying to explain to a friend how interviews go for me recently and the best example I could think of is that it's like trying to answer the question, "how would you go about walking in a straight line?". Obviously I know how to walk in a straight line, but I'm not sure I know how explain how I walk in a straight line with words. I guess I use my brain to communicate with the muscles in my legs somehow, but other than that I don't really know how I do it. It's very similar with code for me. Arrow functions aren't "arrow functions" they're just, `() => {}`.

It really gets me down because I know I'm technically far more capable than I'm able to demonstrate verbally, but I can't prove it without being in a job for a few months and consistently demonstrating my technical ability.

Does anyone have any advice for someone like me? It's been a few weeks of interviews and rejections now and it's really starting to get me down.

Here's three concrete things you can try:

1. Draw more diagrams. Ask to use screen-share or have a whiteboard close behind you that you can turn to. Draw what you're thinking, and then explain more and let them ask questions about the drawing. This is a good practice for anyone. You can use some of your recent interview questions as examples for yourself and practice drawing solutions to them.

2. Don't be afraid to admit that you have some verbal communications issues. It shows that you have awareness of it, which is huge - we all need to own up to our own shortcomings. However, you don't have to phrase it like that! Don't sell yourself short, either. Tell them you have a novel, "unconventional" approach that you've found has advantages, and figure out what they are, and eludicate on them.

Since you can write clearly, you might think of ways to use that, i.e. "allow me to write an outline of how I would approach this" and type that as they watch, if you can. You can also write yourself some canned answers to common questions and cram on them like a politician does for debate prep. You know what you're going to be asked, by now; why not memorize some good answers?

3. Last but not least, consider seriously the concern here:

> my communication skills aren't up to par for the senior roles I'm applying for

Decide for yourself if you think that's true or not, relative to other senior engineers you've dealt with thus far. If it's true, then getting one of these jobs may not actually be what you want, because the expectation of communication will be higher, and you may find it stressful, frustrating, or simply not fulfilling. If it's not true, and you think you can muster up, then you need to spin your own style as a positive, and not let it be seen as a negative.

This is pretty good advice!

> The problem I'm having is that in interviews I can't translate the thoughts in my head into words so I come across poorly.

If you are generally high functioning and your autism is mild enough so that it’s absent to third parties during first encounters then it’s not the autism that’s impacting your communication.

Speech can be improved with practice. Since speech is linked to motor-cognition improvements from this practice are generally permanent, like learning to ride a bicycle.

I would start by reading written prose out loud. It should output at natural speaking speed exactly as written even if there are errors in the writing. Your tone should apply natural inflection which provides your emotional state. The more challenging the written prose the better, but work your way up gradually. Complex thoughts should flow from your mouth like sewage: uninterrupted, at a regular rhythm, without pause/crutch words, and pausing/stressing only as the content demands to convey emotion (non verbal communication).

The above will solve for dexterity challenges but you also need to have your thoughts in order before speaking. This takes a different form of practice to master. I would suggest practice writing. Thoughts are formulated for writing the same as speech with exception to timing. So practice writing rough drafts focusing upon sentence order and order of logic. In speech everything is the first draft, so it needs to come from the mind well ordered the first time.

As a point of clarity it is generally understood, by the audience, that a couple seconds of pause to envision an informed answer for a complex question is fully acceptable. People are generally willing to wait through a tiny pause for a perfect answer as opposed to a rushed response demanding greater parsing.

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