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Ultimately you'd have to decide which one you want to treat as the canonical chain. There would be two (or more) parallel histories, and users would have to figure out which one they wanted to follow.

By default, all users would go along with the original chain. To follow the chain with the updated rules (whatever rules the developers couldn't agree on), a user would have to manually opt-in to that updated set of rules.

well, that, or the primary client decides a direction and forces it onto everyone as soon as they update... :)

A lot of blockchain clients (including Bitcoin) have no auto update feature.

and them i'm going to fork both of the forks to a mega fork just because we know how much we like forks

The one with the most hashing power. Just like Bitcoin.

I mean when contentious changes are made, e.g. bitcoin vs bitcoin cash, or ethereum vs etc. Hashing power doesn’t come into it.