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Comment by Barrin92 | Hacker News Reader

>I’m barely 150 pounds and don’t like traumatic brain injuries. Preferably a more elegant sport that doesn’t require a bunch of awkward equipment. Maybe Ultimate or rock climbing– Wait, crap.

hit the gym and do some weight-lifting, solve two problems at once. Also just go out and hit the bars. (okay maybe not the greatest advice right now). Unlike the author my parents were solidly working class so I always was very aware of straddling two very different social circles, between academia and tech work and the people I grew up with. There's no reason to live in either bubble really and in a big city it's not that hard to have a healthy social circle, just requires leaving your comfort zone.

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As someone who has this problem to a lesser extent than the author, the question is how to have that healthy social circle.

I’ve never met anyone at a gym or bar before. Other than hitting on girls at bars, I’ve never seen anyone else in my social circle meet anybody else at any gyms or bars. I’ve certainly never seen anyone approach me at a gym or a bar. Has your experience been much different?

I don’t mind leaving my comfort zone, but to do what, exactly?

> I’ve never met anyone at a gym or bar before.

Me neither, gym seems an especially weird place to meet people. Aren't most people at gyms just trying to get their workout in and get out? I can't imagine trying to strike up conversation at the gym. Feel like it would be like trying to start a conversation on public transport. Another big no no.

> Aren't most people at gyms just trying to get their workout in and get out?

This is what I always thought too, but I've been told there is a very sizeable amount of people who actually go there to hook up. Still not a "make friends" situation though.

I think you are better off with a more technical sport if you want to make friends. One where a significant part of it involves learning a technique rather than repetition.

For example it could be martial arts, where getting to know your opponent is really important, and it can turn into friendship once the fight is over. Or maybe climbing, where there are many occasions to talk with others, maybe discussing your technique while you are resting between climbs. And of course, team sports.

Join a group-based gym like (here I shudder because of the stereotypes) a Crossfit gym.

Ive met people at bars, but it was because that bar had weekly techno shows and you would see the same people over and over again. Sometimes I would go up to them and say hey whats your name or they would do the same. Its best when other people from each friend group starts introducing each other and a natural group starts to form, you all become interested in getting to know people within the circle.

Im at the point where, if someone happens to be in the same location at the same time as me, thats enough of an excuse to reach out to know them. If we share the same space each week, I should definitely reach out.

I am 145 lbs, live in San Francisco, I used to be a programmer (basically retired now). I met the mother of my son while bouldering at Mission Cliffs. She has nothing to do with the tech sector. Bouldering requires just a pair of shoes.

The author of this post is just a whiner. It's never been easier to meet people outside of your bubble than now.

>It's never been easier to meet people outside of your bubble than now.

I mean - now - like this year, probably pretty hard.

now - last few decades before this year, maybe so.

Ultimate also just requires a pair of shoes. I mean, one person has to have a disc and some cones, but not everybody.

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