That is how young people keep contact with their collective culture. Do you expect them to sit in the corner reading newspapers?
>> then wake up mid afternoon
Efficient time-sharing of common areas. I have to haul myself into work before 6am, but when I get a day off I sleep as long as possible. That is healthy.
>> to get on social media,
Social media is can be a career. Parents once laughed at kids who wanted to be on TV. That isn't a joke anymore. Now the want to be hot on social media. That is as valid a career choice as wanting to be an actor or pro athlete.
>>> eat dinner with us and then repeat.
They eat dinner with their parents? That is a problem? I know plenty of parents, mine included, who would love to have their kids eat at the same table.
Those all seem to be questionable career choices unless you are very good at them.
FWIW there is obviously a big difference between people being employed and living under one roof versus having a bunch of NEETs in the basement.
Speaking of bad habits...
i have 500 in ~7 years and i know i use HN too much
you comment on HN multiple times a day and appear to have done that for some time
Environment plays a part but self determination plays an even larger one. One of my current favorite sayings is "you come into this world looking like your daddy, you leave this world looking like your decisions."
I agree that if they're living with you, they should probably be doing chores, cooking, and getting some exercise in. But if they're financially constrained and have nothing to do, futzing about on the Internet and social media isn't a particularly bad use of time (even if it's also not a particularly good one).
I'm not in favor of my children sitting idle, but if the alternative is for them to go work outside only to bring back £1000 and COVID, well, that's a pure loss, I'd rather they stay home a couple months doing the chores. University should resume soon enough.
It's crazy when I think about it. Masks can be £1-2 a piece nowadays (the good ones). If my daughter is going to work and has to change masks 3+ times a day, it's 1 hour of bullshit job a day just to pay for the masks. It's insane. :O
I guess, all @irrational was trying to do is vent his/her frustrations in a semi-anonymous forum. I sort of understand how he feels (having a younger kid of my own).
And @irrational, maybe they behave in the way they do to mask their frustrations. They probably don't like coming back and living with you because of all social stigma surrounding it.
[edit: spelling, spacing]
There’s plenty of work to be done around the house. Turn off the internet at 11pm. They’ll either get with the program or move out ASAP.
I don't expect this rule to change regardless of their age. In our house being 18 doesn't mean anything - our house, our rules.
At 21 and 23 the ship has largely sailed, enjoy sleeping in that bed.
Family connections are the most emotional things in our lives. It's one thing to comment on one's own experience, but quite another to step into judging someone else's. It's usually best to stick to the former, since that's almost all we're really talking about anyway.
I realize that the GP comment was provocative but we need to find other ways to react to provocation than butting heads—otherwise we just spiral into conflict.
Wow, maybe have a little empathy. The world is on fire and the future is bleak.
On a personal level, especially with covid but also just life in general around now, all of my friends moved elsewhere and while we can keep in touch with social media it's still not as good as it was.
There just doesn't seem to be anything worth building towards, or anything much more meaningful than trying to keep close to what few friends you can.
I don't know your situation or your daughters but I can see myself in them somewhat.
You sound deeply out of touch with the younger generation. The younger generation understands the fundamental flaws in our society more than probably any in the past. And, to them, it sounds pretty hopeless. Many educated people I've met speak more and more about not wanting children because they don't want to bring them into a cruel world that was ruined by their ancestors.
Just sayin' - there are many reasons to be displeased. Things back then were temporary - things now are permanent.
I'm sure it doesn't feel great for them to be dependent on you and face your scorn on a daily basis. I just hope the situation will never be reversed, for your sake.
Maybe you can have a conversation with them to reset expectations? Part of this process should communicate to them what your expectations are and then, if they meet those expectations you should try not to judge their lifestyles.
Would you care if they slept until noon if they were otherwise productive?
The fact that there are nebulous unspoken "rules" is a likely source of tension.
Apologies for the judgment in my last comment, clearly I do not know your family and am just projecting my own familial dysfunction. To put it bluntly, your comment hit a nerve but my response was uncalled for.
Younger generations 40 and below have a tendency to believe that regardless of what they are doing no one can have a negative opinion on what they do, otherwise the other party is to be blamed and shamed. There is little to no self accountability.
What I would want older generations to understand is that modern lifestyle is more and more of an attention trap that expresses itself both mentally and physically.
Sympathy is good, empathy is better.