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Comment by brandonmenc | Hacker News Reader

Most of these companies offer unlimited PTO so what, exactly, is the problem?

"I'm taking PTO and I don't need to justify it or tell anyone why" should be the process.

As your co-worker or manager, I don't need to know that you or your kid or your dog or your parent is sick, or if you're really just sick of working and need some time to zone out.

If someone is taking so much PTO that their work suffers, address it in private with HR.

> We’ve added more support for all of our employees and encourage everyone to have open discussions about the challenges they’re facing

Please don't.

I don't need to hear my co-workers sob stories, and I don't want to burden them with mine. And I certainly don't want to feel compelled to overshare.

Offer private counseling through HR or the health plan.

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I would hope those who report to me feel comfortable, within certain bounds, to make me aware of personal difficulties so I can manage up, downwards and across—likely in the way of managing expectations rather than saddling folks with more work.

Being kind goes a long way in not just being empathetic, but also in keeping employees retained. Everyone, at some point, will face issues that will drag on their performance. I hope I’m extended the same grace eventually.

Clarification:

> As your co-worker or manager, I don't need to know

That came off harsh, particularly when I said "as a manager", but the key word there is need.

I mean that we shouldn't feel compelled to justify why we need to take advantage of our already unlimited PTO - particularly laterally, to teammates - and that not revealing those details should be the default.

Confiding in a manager, mentor, close work friend, and definitely to HR is fine.

But encouraging and thereby creating an expectation of oversharing across all levels just seems like a recipe for disaster.

A likely end result being employees resenting one another for taking time off for reasons they don't think are "serious" enough, or feeling like their need or desire to take time off is unjustified because their personal situation isn't bad compared to their co-workers'. And people who don't want to share now feel antisocial for trying to keep their personal and work lives separate.

If we want to normalize the act of taking time off, imo we'd be better served if everyone just took their PTO without explanation and let HR handle coordinating extended time off for life events.

This. As a people manager I want to know if someone is struggling as long as they are comfortable sharing. I want to make sure we can make reasonable accommodations and provide support so the person can deal with the issues and come back with a healthy mindset when the problems have been dealt with. We are in unprecedented times and empathy goes a long way.

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