I think life is too long, because I don't believe in any afterlife and if I die today or 40 years from now, what's the difference? Just a bunch of pain and boredom all the way down from now until then.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_return
Also, learning to "imagine Sisyphus happy." Easier said than done, of course.
If there was a thing as an eternal self I would find that idea terrifying rather than motivating, personally. But I tend to lean towards the concept of non-self. Even if the cosmology of the universe means my life will be repeated infinitely, there's no continuous "me" that experiences it. Just like how running the exact same instance of Conway's Game of Life a million times doesn't mean there's some essence that persists between each instantiation.
So for me, that idea doesn't do much for me either way (but I may also misunderstand it). Maybe sometime in the vastness of infinity there will be another instantiation of "me", but I don't think there's any connection between that instance and the current one (besides the curious property of an identical life).
My personal takeaway is that, horrifying or not, you cannot escape life, whether by hiding from the world or suicide, you must embrace it, because you will always live your life and there is nothing else. Further, questions of free will aside, you should live the life you would want to live again and again. Let the weight be your guide.
I think the alluring plausibility of eternal return helps sell the idea, but it's best to simply use the idea as a way to think about your attitude toward life, and not be too concerned whether it is a physical reality or not. I subscribe to pragmatism above all else.
I actually read the whole Sisyphus essay, but it didn't really inspire me. I think I'm probably an Existentialist to some degree, I believe that life has no inherent meaning or value and that we have to create for ourselves such meaning. But most days I'm just going through the motions and I'd rather tune out, or "drop out" as it were. Or as Weezer says "Why bother? It's gonna hurt me."
Once you decide on your profession, you must immerse yourself in your work.
- Jiro Ono
https://medium.com/@alyjuma/shokunin-and-sushi-what-jiro-can...
Phrased another way, the craftsmanship model narrows the boundaries of meaning, whereas the Existentialist one expands them to the infinite, or destroys them entirely.
I have always been fascinated by all types of monomania, by persons wrapped up in a single idea; for the stricter the limits a man sets for himself, the more clearly he approaches the eternal.
- Stefan Zweig
"Ah, this is marvelous!" said Lord Wen-hui. "Imagine skill reaching such heights!"
Cook Ting laid down his knife and replied, "What I care about is the Way, which goes beyond skill. When I first began cutting up oxen, all I could see was the ox itself. After three years I no longer saw the whole ox. And now -- now I go at it by spirit and don't look with my eyes. Perception and understanding have come to a stop and spirit moves where it wants. I go along with the natural makeup, strike in the big hollows, guide the knife through the big openings, and following things as they are. So I never touch the smallest ligament or tendon, much less a main joint.
"A good cook changes his knife once a year -- because he cuts. A mediocre cook changes his knife once a month -- because he hacks. I've had this knife of mine for nineteen years and I've cut up thousands of oxen with it, and yet the blade is as good as though it had just come from the grindstone. There are spaces between the joints, and the blade of the knife has really no thickness. If you insert what has no thickness into such spaces, then there's plenty of room -- more than enough for the blade to play about it. That's why after nineteen years the blade of my knife is still as good as when it first came from the grindstone.
"However, whenever I come to a complicated place, I size up the difficulties, tell myself to watch out and be careful, keep my eyes on what I'm doing, work very slowly, and move the knife with the greatest subtlety, until -- flop! the whole thing comes apart like a clod of earth crumbling to the ground. I stand there holding the knife and look all around me, completely satisfied and reluctant to move on, and then I wipe off the knife and put it away."
"Excellent!" said Lord Wen-hui. "I have heard the words of Cook Ting and learned how to care for life!"
Anyway, that's sort of where I'm at right now. My personal philosophy is a super messy mix of Stoicism, Epicureanism, Existentialism, and Buddhism. Not particularly well thought out, but it's been useful lately for helping me carve out a little bit of happiness from this bizarre existence.
If you are in a married relationship where children are off the table and you are hopelessly bored, what do you hope to get out of the marriage? I mean this sincerely. I know a lot of people for whom a married relationship with children off the table where you get the opportunity to be "hopelessly bored" is their idea of nirvana. No relationship drama, no children to manage, all the free time to take to travel or shared hobbies or shared life experiences. Perhaps I sense this may not be the case for you?
On a normal day to day basis, my brain feels like it needs something. When I crack a beer, I feel better, funnier, happier, relaxed. My brain is getting something that it needs. So I crack another one. Pretty sure I'm drunk. It doesn't matter. I feel great. I'll pay for it in the morning but I'm living now. I can chug a beer in 5 seconds, it's a thirst but the thirst isn't for liquid it's for alcohol. The taste is so refreshing and quenches something deep inside, but it's never enough. I also like margaritas, ice cold ones with fresh tequila and lime juice. It hits the spot and gives me what I need. For the longest time I though it was just the deliciousness of the beer or the margarita, until I tried alcohol free alternatives. Totally different. It's the alcohol. This is the way that I'm wired.
Don't get me started on weed. I am a weed junkie. Give me one puff and I'm derailed for 2 weeks smoking myself into a stupor.
All these desires stopped when I found the right treatment for my ADHD, which is methamphetamine. Methamphetamine is the least harmful and most benign, beneficial drug for me. Less side effects and more effective than any other ADHD drugs. It removes all my addictions. Unfortunately I am treated like a criminal for taking this drug as prescribed here in the USA and am view with suspicion by everybody in healthcare. Quite ridiculus, because if I wanted to abuse it I would pay $50 on the street instead of $1000 out of pocket for the same amount in a nice prescription bottle. Using this platform to say our drug war is a complete failure and to legalize all drugs to help people.
Here’s the thing. Since it’s improved every aspect of my life (including my sleep), If I get cut off for some political reasons, I’m going to buy it in the street and take it. And that helps me how? Hah. Thank you for reading my story.
I'm not a heavy drinker, I can go months without a single drop, but if alcohol was to cease to exist I would miss it.