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I believe Apple's rules prohibit even mentioning external digital stores to bypass IAP (someone please correct me if I'm wrong).

Suppose a large group of "helpful" players started advertising/spamming via ingame chat the fact that you can buy VBucks on the official website for cheaper than in game. Totally unaffiliated and not paid for by Epic, of course.

Is Epic obligated to censor them because of Apple's rules?

correct.

I wonder if the apple tax would apply to buying a physical code that is mailed to you.

I think apple forces them to do the transaction through apple