Another good one I'm trying recently is: "You're right to think that given the information you know, and here's some more information you should consider."
Oh and: "That's a great hypothesis, here's another one."
How does it work with e.g.?
A: 2+2=5
B: Yes and....
'yes and' or 'this might be true from your POV, but please consider'
B: Yes, and I believe it's 4.
This is a mutually respectful dialogue. You don't pretend to know better. You're just each sharing your ideas, and if they conflict, you'll open a dialogue into why they think it is 5? And here's why I think it is 4. And then you can both try to resolve the conflict and see why you think differently and what the correct answer actually is now that you've considered both.
In your example, it might seem a bit silly, because of how certain we all are that 2+2=4. That said for anything less clear cut, you can really see where saying "Yes and" is better.
A: Unit tests are more important than integ tests.
B: Yes, and I believe integ tests add more value than unit tests.
That said, it really depends who you're talking too. If someone is super open minded and welcomes disagreement and are constantly trying to test their knowledge, you probably won't need any of this. But if someone is less receptive, less confident, has a big ego, etc., Then you do need to manipulate their emotions to have them be more receptive.
What if one really knows better though, eg talking about life at a place where you've been, but the other person never was there and is just guessing?
I'm thinking a problem then can be the bystanders / co-workers: now they're going to think 5 is a fairly ok answer, when you didn't very clearly disagree about that?
Especially if the other person sounds self confident.
Any thoughts about how to strongly disagree, in a polite way, when the other person is crazily wrong in a slightly harmful way?
But I think too that in most cases, especially when talking one and one, the Yes-and or sth like that probably is a good approach
If the other person is actually trying to misinform, it'll be hard. If they're really genuine, I think doing the above gives the bystanders enough info to choose for themselves. Like, you still should disclose the information you have, so say you have been there, and that it wasn't at all like that from your first hand experience, etc.
The thing is, you won't convince everyone, but you'll have a better chance at convincing others if they hear you out and consider what you're saying openly. So that's kind of the idea here.
> if they hear you out and consider what you're saying openly
Yes I agree
> A: 2+2=5
> B: Yes and....
Pretty cleanly “Yes and minus 1”
B: Yes, in structural engineering (or rocket science) 2+2=5, and in cosmology 2+2=10, and in computer engineering 2+2=2, and as we're doing arithmetic here, 2+2=4.
(Is Leo Moracchioli a cosmologist? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O81XldQHApg )
Yes and .... you're wrong you idiot
So to me, that's the reason for change in language. First I want to express that I'm listening to what you said, I'm considering it, and I think it's really good, but there are certain aspects that I'm unsure about, and now I'd like them to consider those.
Basically, "you're wrong" is dismissive of the other person's intelligence. That's why I want to avoid it.
So when someone is saying something I mostly agree with, but I just want to expand on it, instead of saying "but" or "not quite" or "that's not it", I will say "yes, and". Because I recon that's very much what I think as well with just a few minor additions.
If someone has an idea and I think there are better ideas, I won't say, "that's dumb", or "no", I will say, "oh that's a good idea, can I propose one too?" Because that's what I want to express, like good job with that idea, nothing against it except I'd like us to consider if this other one might be better, which it might not be.
Etc.