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Comment by mlang23 | Hacker News Reader

Sorry, but this sounds like unhealthy to me. The day I need an external person to deal with the arguments in our relationship is the day I end that relationship. There are many females on this planet. No need to bend over backwards to make one particular relationship work.

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This is a very close-minded view. Professionals with psychological and/or therapeutic training can offer insights that you don’t have.

Would you refuse to work with a trainer if you were trying to improve at a physical activity? Would you reject a professional mentor in your field if it was on offer? Would you refute a doctor’s care if your physical health were impaired?

Also, it’s strange to refer to women as “females”, or treat all women as interchangeable, unless you run a crooked bar on a space station.

Your kids would be happy to see you bend your back a little.

Have you ever had to watch your parents fight over nonsense? Nope, sorry, I disagree. Why should kids be any happier if their parents stay together and fight all the time?

Because children make life enjoyable with your partner half the time, so you're in a dilemma : stay for the good half or quit for the bad half. Then you stay because maybe you can fix the bad half, and why not try getting help from someone. It's worth it. Even getting from good 50%/50% bad to 55%/45% is worth it.

My point was to stay together and do work to stop the fighting. Staying together and fighting all the time wouldn't be "bending over backwards".

I think the point is to stay together and not fight all the time.

You don't have children, right ?

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