Hilarious, and a great breakdown of what's wrong with the code!

But also, in an article calling out programming falsehoods, this snippet is a bit odd:

> Even if apiService.sql returns a value synchronously (which I doubt), internally it have to open a connection to a database, make a query and send back the response, which (as you may have guessed) can’t be synchronous.

Sure it can, it's dead simple to write an API that accepts a database query and returns the result synchronously.