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I have the same problem. I just started at FAANG, make good money, and I. Am. So. Miserable. I studied so hard for this job and now all I want is out. The day to day logic is burning out my mind and making it hard to enjoy life

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If it makes you feel any better, getting into FAANG is my life goal. Getting in even just once is enough. I'd finally win my own respect, that of my parents, and everyone else (though I'm sure no one really cares). I'm also jaded about programming in general and I know I'm not going to love the work, but at least the FAANG job experience will give you 1) proper credentials to get an interview easier at other jobs if needed and 2) a surefire path to financial independence. I currently work at a small company making around 1/3-1/5 your pay and when monthly expenses eat 60-80% of take home salary, building up wealth just isn't as optimistic. So give yourself a pat on the back.

> monthly expenses eat 60-80% of take home salary

How? There are many places around the world that at first world and where you can save 50+% of your (market) salary after all expenses. Maybe you’re underpaid in a very high COL area?

Also, friendly but unsolicited advice: if you base your happiness on other’s perception of you and your achievements, you’ll never ever be happy. There will always be someone judging you and deeming you inferior and/or someone who is way better at something than you are.

What about the day to day logic is worst?

I would say the tedious complexity. Immense complexity of jacked together systems

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