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Comment by ocdtrekkie | Hacker News Reader

> Men want to be the breadwinner

And there's the problem. I'd be totally comfortable if my future wife ended up being the financial supporter of the family. There's technical things I'd like to invest time and mental resources in that wouldn't necessarily make money, but would be fulfilling, and housework is already something I do a lot of and wouldn't mind being more responsible for if I wasn't spending 40+ at the office.

I can't imagine dumping my career whilst I'm the higher earner, but if she ends up making more than me (kinda likely actually, given some time), it might be the most sensible solution. Marriage should be a team activity where either partner is willing to take on whatever role is best for the family.

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Both men and women usually prefer men to be the breadwinner though - this isn't just cultural - it has biological roots. Breaking away from that on a mass societal-wide scale will not be easy. Thankfully humans are one of the few animals who override their instincts so it's not impossible.

maybe raising children should be breadwinning?

In agriculture-heavy eras, it was, in the sense that children would contribute labor value as they got older (and with relative quickness; you can trust an 8-year-old with tasks like feeding the chickens).

I tend to agree, but women don't want to be home alone with kids. Historically, women would share duties with other women in the village so there was a lot more socializing and mentorship.

It must have been fulfilling to start out a young inexperienced women in your village and eventually become an influential matriarch, with knowledge in herbal medicine, nursing, textiles, pottery, basketry, child development, leadership, storytelling, etc.

> I tend to agree, but women don't want to be home alone with kids. Historically, women would share duties with other women in the village so there was a lot more socializing and mentorship.

Stay at home moms are always having get togethers, play dates, catching up for coffee, etc.

The more of your friends who are stay at home moms the easier it becomes to be a stay at home mom.

Honestly can we stop saying these type of claims that men are « biologically » made to be breadwinners and woman « biologically » made to do house work? Not only the claims are dubious, but even if they were true doesn’t mean everyone is the same.

For a lot of people including women housework is actually boring and they would rather have a fulfilling career.

Perpetuating the idea that men should work outside and women should work inside really makes life really hard for men and women that don’t think that way.

> For a lot of people including women housework is actually boring and they would rather have a fulfilling career.

For the vast vast majority of people there is no fulfillment in a career either.

> Perpetuating the idea that men should work outside and women should work inside really makes life really hard for men and women that don’t think that way.

I'm making an observation - I don't like it either.

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