OK

"Given the wildly lax sandwich laws in the United States, I imagine that the folks who took these sandwiches could've just as easily driven over to Wade's in Bellevue and bought themselves something equally lethal. No reason why we should uniquely be having such a freakout over sandwiches disappearing from a Seattle PD car"

I'm a brit so I don't know anything about guns but I'm assuming they're more dangerous than a bread-based food, which may be be the point.

Yeah, there's a lot of lack of self-awareness going on in that statement. "Excuse me while I ride my death machine over to a store."