Forgive my bluntness, but I have never understood the people who buy or rent houses very far away from work so they can save on a monthly housing payment when their hourly rate at work times the additional commute time is larger than the "saving".
Regardless, there are other factors at play. A big one is that the amenities you want aren’t near your work place at any price point- see all those people who commute from SF to Mountain View. Another is that your job changed but you don’t want to move- I once rented a place near the downtown core thinking I’d always be close to work, and then somehow ended up with 45 minute commute to a satellite location. Once someone buys a place, get settled, and kids start school it gets a hard to move your residence as well.
In many places, urban or close suburban school districts suck.
In my city, due to court mandated decrees from 40 years ago, my kid would need to take a bus almost 60 minutes to the other side of town based on a lottery.
In the NY Metro area, you can trade commute time for being a few minutes from the beach or living upstate with lots of open space, etc. People make choices based on what is important to them. Who in gods earth wants to live in some cramped apartment in Brooklyn or whatever if other options are available?