I really messed up... I bought a smaller house close to work, because a short commute was more important to me than a bigger house. Now, I don't get the benefit of the short commute, and I have to work at a small home with kids here.
I've been working remotely off and on for the past 10-15 years and I cannot even tell you how much my quality of life has improved to not have to commute anymore.
Now I have no such transition. I wake up, drink coffee, and I'm at my desk working. In the evening I get up from my desk, go to the kitchen and cook and then eat. It's very boring and monotonous.
In many places, urban or close suburban school districts suck.
In my city, due to court mandated decrees from 40 years ago, my kid would need to take a bus almost 60 minutes to the other side of town based on a lottery.
In the NY Metro area, you can trade commute time for being a few minutes from the beach or living upstate with lots of open space, etc. People make choices based on what is important to them. Who in gods earth wants to live in some cramped apartment in Brooklyn or whatever if other options are available?
Regardless, there are other factors at play. A big one is that the amenities you want aren’t near your work place at any price point- see all those people who commute from SF to Mountain View. Another is that your job changed but you don’t want to move- I once rented a place near the downtown core thinking I’d always be close to work, and then somehow ended up with 45 minute commute to a satellite location. Once someone buys a place, get settled, and kids start school it gets a hard to move your residence as well.