It seems like a minefield , when I am trying to focus on my own role, that I have to negotiate the feelings of a colleague as I leave feedback on them. I’d prefer to leave only positive feedback, but what my boss wants is that I need to find an improvement that my colleague has to make. I don’t like it.
If there is , I might considering applying at some point. I assume that if there are, the companies must be relatively small, or in case of larger companies this might happen in selected departments like Skunk Works.
It would just be so refreshing to be able to hear and say the occasional "Hey, you know, actually there is a much better/nicer/less stupid/more efficient way to do what you are doing" without needing to waste time to think how to say that.
I’m at Yelp, so we’re considered a large tech company, but far smaller than FAANG. Also, this is how it is on my team. The culture can vary a bit team by team however most teams share similar cultures. If folks reading this are at Yelp and their team isn’t like this and considering leaving because of it, you should look into a transfer.
Hands down the best company I've worked for and I hope that other companies can do the same. It is indeed refreshing to be able to hear/say "Hey, you know, actually there is a much better/nicer/less stupid/more efficient way to do what you are doing" and be sure that it's not going to be taken badly.
But to write out constructive feedback which goes against your colleagues record, so that they have to show how they received this feedback and the steps they did to remedy it, seems a bit much.
For example, how do I know that a certain piece of feedback might be really difficult/impossible for you to fix and then you lose out on a %age salary increase or promotion because of it?
I can’t write ‘mr x could really work on coming to work earlier’, as that’s not my job. What if I write ‘mr x. would have been better to use x pattern in his development because ...’, as that would mean I have oversight of how they are doing their work and I haven’t spoken up in time. Which seems crazy.
If you are doing something wrong or something that can be improved, I would prefer to tell you point in time, and when the context is right.
To leave ‘constructive feedback’ against your personal record removes a lot of context, and has the potential to damage your career and our relationship.
I don’t like it!
Privileging my own ego over the quality of my client's defense would be unethical, in my opinion.
What really infuriates me is that even though I take the time to provide good feedback on how to improve, other people don't return the favor. I'm young and lazy. I know that my work is terrible. Yet no one has bothered to call me out on it in years or given me meaningful suggestions on areas to work on.
Constructive feedback might hurt someone's feelings for a few minutes, but if it is provides structure on how to improve in the future the recipient will come to appreciate it after a few minutes to calm down.
"Hey GEBBL, you did a really good job on that project. It was great that you focused on the end-to-end problem, and not just the main part that PM asked for. This is something you're better at than some other members on your team -- do you think you could help me keep an eye out during design reviews for gaps along these lines?"
It can also be useful to use a related positive to explain a negative.
"Hey GEBBL, you're usually a good speaker, so I thought you'd want to know that I found your presentation this week a little hard to follow. I think it would have been easier to follow with a high-level overview like the one you included at the beginning of last week's."
You can, of course, look at people's weaknesses to find opportunities for improvement, but you can also look at people's strengths. I think think the best feedback is not only constructive, but also motivating and actionable.
For more difficult feedback to navigate, you should be able to funnel it through a manager. "Hey GEBBL's manager, I noticed that GEBBL checked in a change yesterday without testing it properly. It's not a major thing, but I know you're looking for opportunities to give GEBBL constructive feedback." (If you're going to do this, I suggest trying to do it in a balanced way; share positive feedback too so that it's clear you're not complaining all the time.)
I don't want to be scared to make mistakes, I want to be scared to ship mistakes.
Your comment failed at PRP.
You showed how difficult giving criticism is.
At first I found your haiku hard to parse.
But in the end I was enlightened by it.
My experience is that it sows distrust in praise.
"You just said something unpleasant to me, so I don't trust the praise you added after is genuine, and now I don't trust the praise you said before is genuine either. I think you added them just to fit the form of a PRP. Maybe that's what you do all the time. So I think you're basically lying to me about the praise, insulting my intelligence and trying to manipulate me by crude emotional bullshit. This makes me angry".
Which is not very useful if you have constructive critical feedback to give, as it is no longer constructive.
In my view, dressing up a shit filling in a sandwich is a form of shallow manipulative wordplay, and for at least some people, it makes them upset and angry, even if they don't show it immediately. Because if it's done often it will make them distrustful. In some sense, they are right to become distrustful.
Most people need to feel some amount of socially rewarding praise and recognition in their working lives.
But if you're often using PRP... you lose the ability to convey praise to them in ways they will experience as actual for real praise.
So I advocate for separating these things out more, and making it known that is intentional.
When there is shit filling to deliver compassionately, work on the meaning itself, not dissonantly trying to simultaneously convey it and hide it, which puts people who notice on permanent alert that your words do not mean what they initially sound like.