I am not saying that "all lives matter" exactly, I fully believe it's not neccessary to say to you, and if I agreed with you on the causality, I wouldn't be saying anything. I wanted to point out that the perceived reason (gender) might not be the actual cause, as I have a lot of experience with women doing it to other women and men (as I worked outside of IT, in a field where women leaders and women contributors are common). IMHO the actual cause is toxic culture - this stuff is even mentioned in stuff like "unethical life tips" as what to do if you want to be seen as expert, and many people do it unconsciously - not based on gender. I don't see any evidence that sexism causes it in IT - I think it's just toxic perception of what to do as managers/toxic habits that people have. I suspect that our way of educating children in a very restrictive environment is the root cause.