Indeed, so I guess I'll get a job or maybe just suicide because what's the point. I don't really feel like working hard so someone else can get rich off my labour anymore.
I'm not a clinician, but you replied to my comment so I feel obligated to say this: go see a mental health professional.
You sound clinically depressed. I don't think being a man is why you failed. There is nothing wrong with working a job and slowly building wealth, especially someone who is supposedly a highly skilled software engineer - you can make retirement money in not-so-many years if you live frugally and save wisely. I seriously think you need some professional counseling.