Whenever you compose an email, put your ask in the first sentence. Do you want information from them? Do you want them to do something for you? Put it in the first sentence. Then put the explanation and details in the rest of the email.
Once upon a time I was on an internet forum and I would read each and every post. Nowadays, if it's longer than a paragraph long and not by someone I care about, I just glaze over - I can't be bothered anymore. Mind you, having less time for that kinda thing also doesn't help.
Put that don't share request at the top in caps, bold.
Sorry, still sore years later.
If you're making a formal complaint, by all means. But otherwise, treat it like you're posting it on the internet for everyone to see.
I don’t use the same subject keywords the article describes, but I try to keep it concise. I put the point of the email first, a bit of background, and further explanation below that if required. I don’t think anybody really appreciates the beating around the bush and story telling that goes into a lot of corporate emails.
[0]: https://hbr.org/2016/11/how-to-write-email-with-military-pre...
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Shannon,
Bottom Line: We will reduce the number of days that employees can work from home from three to one day per week effective December 1st.
Background:
* This is an effort to encourage team morale and foster team collaboration
* All members of the management committee supported this decision
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A lot of people would take that for what it is, orders and not like it at all. In the military diplomacy is not so strongly needed as there is a clear chain of command. Things are not so set in the corporate world.
If the boss can tell Shannon to deal with it like in the army, no problem. But in an office Shannon has lots of coworkers and bosses to formally complain to! Giving bottom lines which are in any way controversial in this manner will probably backfire imo.
'To improve team morale, we will reduce the number of days that employees can work from home from three to one day per week effective December 1st.'
" In order to encourage team morale and foster team collaboration, the management committee have decided to reduce the number of days that employees can work from home from three to one day per week effective December 1st."
Even if you are emailing an old friend for a favor, put your request up front then put the cordial stuff after, its much more sincere that way.
> Joe, we are looking for advisors to sit on our board. This is a non-paying position so I'm emailing all my old friends and asking for favors. Hey, how are you? How is your wife and son? Either way lets get together soon! --Aaron
I was struggling with this dilemma recently, when wrting an email. Knowing what you just said, that your request should be in the first paragraph, and at the same time wanting to show humman connection, I don't think that I did very good job. Still haven't found a smooth way to express both things in the first sentance/paragraph.
I guess, it depends on the person you are writing to.
It's especially galling when the topic is 'Put your question / point in the first sentence / paragraph' and someone's first word, sentence, and paragraph is simply 'This.'
Also referred to as SCQA. Situation, Complication, Questions, Answers.