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Comment by Scapeghost | Hacker News Reader

The most key point of this is right at the start:

"I decided to just answer straightforwardly"

That can make all the difference in your interactions with your child and how they learn about this world.

Too many problems are caused by parents not being honest with their kids. Be straightforward, no matter how awkward the explanations may be. Avoid patronizing simplifications and saying things like "you'll understand when you're older". If they're not able to understand or decide they don't want to, they'll stop asking.

and also one of the best ways of improving your own understanding of something is to try explaining it to someone else, and who better than a child? If they say some tradition is stupid or silly, maybe it is! If you can't defend it to them, why do you follow it?

Who knows, maybe you'll even make an unexpected friend to share your interests with. :)

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I remember, when I was a kid, that I had a toy piano where the notes C, D, E, etc. were labeled 1, 2, 3, etc.

Later, I tried to get a computer to play a simple melody and assumed that 1=A, 2=B, etc. The result sounded wrong, and eventually by trial and error I figured out that if I put C# in place of C, then everything sounded good.

I asked my father why, and he gave me a version of "you'll understand when you're older". My father was a wonderful man, but this is still one of my sadder memories from childhood.

You may have asked him at the worst possible time for him personally. Whyever he didn't explain it at the time, I'm sure it's nothing to do with his love for you.

Oh, no question about that. When I was a kid, I tended to assume that my parents always were available to drop what they're doing and engage with you.

(And which, incidentally, is surely a reason why many parents are finding working from home during quarantine to be so difficult.)

Your question may have touched a nerve, if he was getting older and no longer could see sharp.

Or he just wanted to be flat on the couch, without being disturbed.

Maybe he was like me who had some degree of hearing loss when I grew older and could no longer hear C sharp.

musical notes repeat once every doubling of frequencies, so there are many C#s spread throughout the range of human hearing. The only way someone could be unable to hear c# would be if they were unable to hear at all.

Your parent and grandparent comments were (imo, clever) word plays on C# / see sharp and back to _hear_ c# (instead of see sharp).

Edit: Point being--scientific accuracy not required. :)

oops!

>If they're not able to understand or decide they don't want to, they'll stop asking.

And they'll only stop asking for a very short while (if they're like all the kids I've talked with). Children are people and value honesty and attention like everyone else. If you try, they'll be back.

Plus, I enjoy it even when they don't understand and leave halfway through the answer. They make the best faces to show they're done.

Parents observe their child learn the most in-depth actions and knowledge from a dizzying array of input...and then too often decide that children can't handle nuance or depth.

I know _I_ can't, but children seem to be quite good at it.

Definitely great advice! I have always felt the same with my kids. Be honest and try to answer your best even if you know they won't fully understand.

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