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> I would guess that your definition of "successful" is set unrealistically high

This might be the case. It just always gets me down when I read first author research papers written by undergrads and ivy-bound high school students that far surpass my fundamental understanding. It feels like I'm behind forever and I don't have any hope anymore because I was just born like this.

I'm honestly not even sure what makes me happy.

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Take a step back and look at it on a meta-level. What purpose is that feeling of inadequacy serving? Who are you helping by making yourself miserable?

Life isn't about accomplishments, accomplishments are just one aspect of life. And by getting a degree and starting a career in a high-tier field, you already have things to be proud of. Happiness cannot be reduced to a checklist. Ask yourself: if there were nobody to compare yourself to, if there were no awards or scores or accolades in the world, what would you want to be doing, right now? And then chase that feeling.

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