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Comment by nine_zeros | Hacker News Reader

As I've aged, I've stopped giving fucks about work, promotions, rat race, work politics and triviality for minor gains in work. I find petty wins at work meaningless. I would much rather spend time with my family, kids, nature and cheap travel.

And I've become this once I saw people starting to die young around me, making me re-evaluate my priorities.

Am I alone?

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I was already on that trend by noticing that I get more pleasure from my side projects than my 9-5 job. That also lead me to the FI/RE mindset.

Then two years ago, 3 people I knew died including the young son of close friends. Death used to be something for older people, now it's a clear possibility for me and my family too.

Last year I took 3 months off to travel around the world with my family (wife, 2 yo and 4 yo). Most of my older colleagues congratulated me and told me they wished they had done the same at my age (35). Friends my age were mostly concerned about work (impact on career, getting permission, etc) or convinced it's impossible to travel with young children.

On that note, any tips for traveling with young children?

Travel light, buy what you need along the way. Take long flights during the night so they'll sleep. Take trains/subways instead of cars/taxis as they'll be able to walk around and interact with other people. Mix activities for adults with thing that they would enjoy (zoo, parks, fireworks, ...). Hype up some of the things they'll see the next days so they'll be excited to see it. Let them pick some of the restaurants and activities.

I went the complete opposite. Travel is nice, sure. But my biggest fear became my legacy? When I die what will I have left behind for other generations? For my kids? For my friends?

Now I work thrice as hard. I want to exit this world having made a difference and having made it better.

This is great! Thanks for your perspective!

No, but it's healthy not to be judgemental towards others' life choices.

Some (many) people chose not to have kids, they find meaning in life through other channels. This biodiversity is very welcome.

I don't think eschewing parenthood (plenty of good reasons not to) is a negative thing.

But parenthood (adoptive or otherwise) is a key piece of the human experience.

There's no judgement in my comment (maybe you are trying to read between the lines with your own projection). I don't care if you want kids, family or not. You do you.

I just want to know if there are others who get the futility of the rat race just as I do.

The vast majority of my 40+ friends see #dayjob as just another piece in the puzzle of life.

It's still recommended to enjoy it within reason...

I don't see any judgement in gp's comment. GP seems curious to know if there are others who think like them.

No friend you are not .. i sit here, childless, family-less, and share the same values, and honestly wishing you the best.

Currently broken (illness, but i work on), probably like your young friends .. if i am lucky some day, I hope to have a family of my own, and be able to simply sit ...

Tired of the rat race, if i could, i would simply travel to thailand, and live in a hut.

More power to you and yours, stay safe <3

Of course not, but demography and expectations over here are skewed to the left side of the life trajectory. Cheers and take care.

Nope. You are not. I too have learnt to enjoy what I do or do what I enjoy. My earning is pure joy instead of materialistic milestones. End of the day we have a microscopic life. All name/fame are fake & fade in grand scheme of things.

I'm over fifty too but very much like what I do. The reason might be that I'm self-employed and work from home most of the time. And Epicurus is my hero. I have friends who are professors, and I wouldn't want to swap. They have little time left for science. Most of it is marketing and close combat with administration and politics. Very exhausting.

For anyone else reading, Epikur is known as Epicurus in English.

edit: OP edited it to Epicurus as I posted this!

Yes not alone but if you don't at least pretend you're the best worker bee and kiss the right behinds, you'll be put on by lowest 10% and the next RIF.

You are definitely not alone.

Although I don't plan on a lifelong "rat race", I want enough success to enable me to take multi-day motorcycle trips or own a ranch. I plan on pulling out of the rat race by 35, definitely by 40.

That's not to say I'm not finding time here and there to enjoy now.

What's keeping you from doing that motorcycle trip now, I mean other than the virus?

I'm relatively young, but I kind of feel this way. Even reflecting on a 100-year lifespan, life seems too short (and pointless) to be dominated by neurotic stresses fueled by pride or social pressure, even though it's highly pragmatic to be. Hell, you can say that WAY more convincingly about any langs or frameworks we fuck with, too. xD

But that said, I'm comfortable financially, so I can afford to sacrifice that pragmatism, AND this is probably more emotive disaffection with "the system, man" than wisdom and experience about what's worthwhile talking.

was that word "cheap" necessary?

What does cheap insinuate? Could you clarify?

Nope.

The most sobering of this was as I aged, and really began to see the ageism in interviews, hiring, selection for "regular roles" (meaning not a role where you would be a particularly specialized SME) - the ageism is really bad.

Especially in OPs/DevOps types of environments; I know that I have talked myself out of a job telling them that I had one position where i didnt have a day off in 18 months due to running an ops team and being literally on call 24/7 for 18 months.... I said that I was not interested in doing or being that any longer.

(They clearly wanted a hungry, younger Ops leader who didnt have a life or kids or would be a complete 'slave' to the role)

I don't give a crap about the SV rat race at all - which is why I left it for working in Cannabis tech (although it has its own set of problems - and there are a lot of techs who also left for cannabis and are bringing some cancerous mindsets to the industry...)

With age and time comes wisdom.

also an argument for why they prioritize the opposite....

Did that for 3 years too, and im burned out, and you know whats funny? Spent most of the money trying to triage a back issue no one could solve.

My back gets better when i dont go to work, bitter, right? Im not even old yet, and i have no idea what to do. Something inside is screaming “no.” And it feels hopeless

Dare I mention I find it incredibly rude to focus the attention on yourself without even mentioning the deceased?

You might have a point if they were relatives or something like that. But if you don’t actually know the guy there’s really no reason to be that mournful, or you’d be pretty busy with it seeing that like 3 people die per second.

I think its actually ok, we come together to support each other. The dead are already resting, unlike the living.

Id say check your youth hubris, and let people vent. Death is a bell, not a jailer.

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