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Comment by protomyth | Hacker News Reader

I know this is going to sound like a stupid question, but how tall are you? How healthy (e.g. weight, posture, etc.) do you look. Do people consider you good looking?

Sadly, your physical presence makes a difference in how others start perceiving you and will probably dictate what approach you take to establish yourself. A lot of self-help leadership books seem to be written by guys who are at or over 6ft tall.

It doesn't mean you cannot be perceived as good leader without a leading man presence, but you do have to work at it differently. Advice for a classically dashing 6'2" guys often doesn't work for 5'4" women. You need to impress the people making that decisions and they often have the look. It sucks, but we cannot see other people's souls. Sorry for your loss, it sucks and is a bummer but don't let it break you, its just their opinion and probably isn't close to the truth.

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5’4” (almost!) woman here. What you’ve said is unfortunately all too true but I have a hard time advising someone to act/present themselves in a way simply to conform to the expectations others have set based on their appearance.

Just be yourself. If other people think you’re too [whatever] for someone who looks like you then fuck them. By catering to the stereotypes we only perpetuate the stereotypes.

Leaders come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities.

Body physique is the hardest thing to change of all the aspects, so if one has this problem, you need to focus on other aspect.

Napoleon Bonaparte is short, but he was not only a leader, he was a conqueror. Tyrion Lannister, even though fictional, is another example, learn the actor's performance, how he use his face and voice.

Learn psychology and interpersonal interaction, think of it as problem solving using human for human problems instead of your usual tool of choosing.

Learn how to command with charisma. Use visual, sound, and tactile as optimum as you can. For those who see persuasion and manipulation as immoral, get rid of it. As long as your intention are good, you'll use those weapons carefully.

Napoleon wasn’t short for his time. That was propaganda spread by his enemies.

Health, physiology, and beauty is part of leadership, but we don't know much about this person.

None of those things are intrinsic to leadership, but they certainly inform characteristics that are useful to being seen as a leader.

Of course none of it will affect the abilities of an actual leader, but the perception problem cannot be dismissed. Not having the above doesn't mean you cannot be taken seriously as a leader, but it does change the approach.

A person will get real damn frustrated if all the advice they get works for one segment of the population and doesn't work for them. That can cause all kinds of self doubt and depression. You need to be able to honestly assess how other people perceive you and work on strategy, skills, and maybe some changes in physical activity to have a good outcome. I just hate to see people get depressed when they shouldn't.

I agree with you, these qualities are not intrinsic to leadership. But subconsciously (or perhaps consciously), others see someone who is healthy, vibrant, and well-groomed and, knowing nothing else about the person, they will infer that this person is in control of their dietary habits, fitness, and hygiene. It's easier for someone with the appearance of health to convince others that they are a leader than someone who appears sickly or behaves slovenly.

Again though, like you said, it's not intrinsic. No one would argue that Churchill was not an excellent leader, even if they did disagree with his politics or his methods.

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