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Comment by jackallis | Hacker News Reader

when i first read the first three paragraphs, i thought this must be a burned out late 30s to early 40s guy. then i saw 20.

20, 20, what 20.

listen to me, you have not failed at anything, anything. this is the time to make mistakes here. gohead f'up. make mistakes. your are only 20. take risk, you have more upside then downside.

TRUST me, you will figure it out.

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Thanks for the optimism, I've been told this more than once :)

However, it's hard for me not to compare myself with peers of my age who already have it figured it out so to speak, who have not failed as much as I've had and etc...

That's why I am asking for resources to help me out, as it seems like my life is a concatenation of failures, so to speak.

Classic peer pressure thing. You're not helping yourself with peer comparisons. I'll tell you right now. If being a beggar was fashionable and your peer group was doing it, then you'll be wanting to do that? Just think about this for yourself. You can NOT think about your peers and do whatever you are doing well. Isn't it obvious?

Indeed you are right, and I get what you mean. However this doesn't only come from peers, it comes from for example from my parents (who one could argue at the same time are influenced by "society" and so on), and it simply isn't easy to ignore their wishes for me to have a better and "proper" life, especially when I am dependent on them atm for my livelihood.

This is a tricky question to find a good answer for, but all in all, yes you are right. Indeed, everyone is different and everyone doesn't have a set path. However, I don't know how I could brainwash myself to think like that in my day to day life, not only when I am "deeply thinking about it".

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