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I'd still love to be able to self-host this.

It's development has stalled long ago, but you could try OpenTextSummarizer [0]. It is available on the Debian repos [1] and you can try a web interface [2] to see if it fulfills your expectations.

[0] https://github.com/neopunisher/Open-Text-Summarizer/

[1] https://packages.debian.org/search?keywords=libots

[2] https://www.splitbrain.org/services/ots

This is fantastic! Just tried it with a few blog posts. Thank you.

10% of the time I have to copy paste the text

Finally, a sane way to read New Yorker articles!