"So how's the wife?"

"I don't want to talk about that"

"Subordinate! You will do as you are told. How. Is. The. Wife"

"She's struggling with depression right now".

"Glorious! Tell me more. Does she not eat?"

"No, she has lost her appetite and have trouble getting out of bed"

"I FEED ON THIS INFORMATION! I presume you don't have sex then. How. Does. This. Make. You. Feeeeeeel. Screeeching"

Yup, you need to get a new job.