I feel that. Though I don’t have to live in a CA hellscape where half my paycheck has go to rent.
You might consider CA a hellscape for other reasons, but the cost-of-living-adjusted salaries for big tech in SF, Seattle, and NYC are higher than anywhere else in the country.
Anywhere else in the world. For example, in London you’d probably pay at least 50% of your current rent, but only receive 25% of your current salary.
... if you do not have children.
Consider how much you would have to pay for a modest 2000 square feet house in SF or NYC.
Many have mortgage payment estimates under what senordevnyc mentioned paying for rent, now.
However, I work in the flatiron district, and most of my co-workers live in Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens, and NJ. One of the unexpected things I discovered when moving here two years ago is that there are a lot of reasonably-priced areas within an hour or so commute on buses or trains.
The Bay Area is mostly an exception because you have such high prices not only in the city itself, but also the South Bay until you get way south and north in Marin County.
But, at least in my bubble, when people are talking about the high CoL of NYC, they're mostly talking about living in the core.
The Bay Area is a bit unusual in that compared to a number of other expensive cities, it's hard to really commute out of the expense unless you have a really long commute. The East Bay comes closest I guess. By comparison, I live in the Boston area but you can get out to many suburban or even relatively rural towns within an hour. (Historically that's where almost all the computer industry jobs were anyway although that has changed somewhat.)
To be clear, this is total comp. About half is base and the rest is equity.