My approach to negotiations is described in the book "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss.
I considered reading it, but then I read a review that says that although it’s useful, it presents a few quite manipulative tactics:
“A lot of what affects how much you enjoy these books is, again, how self aware you are or how much consideration you've given to how you talk to people and the best way to get what you want from others. If you already easily have any easy time convincing people, or have thought about it and are self aware of how you behave and talk to others then I don't think any of these things are going to be surprising or helpful but if you haven't ever actually considered the way you interact with people then maybe this will be an eye opening book for you. Personally I think I've always been a little manipulative so I wasn't all that impressed. The writing was average also so the books clear and easy to read but I wasn't impressed by the writing either.”
The book has further gems like
- Deadlines cut both ways. Never hide your deadline, as it will increase the chance of an impasse: the opponent will hold out for more while you will be pressured by the unspoken deadline.
- Never bluff. Be prepared to actually walk away from the table at any given time.
- If the other party thinks lowly of you, bring forth their worst fears. This allows them to see them through the glasses of logic instead of emotions. Once you diffuse their feelings in the open, they'll be more receptive to what you have to say.
The book is worth a read.
Norwegian here: I've previously read self-improvement books written by Americans that state advice that gives me the same vibes as this one, specifically a feeling of this being a very bad idea. I'm almost certain that starting a salary negotiation with a demand 80% higher than my actual goal would either get me laughed out of the room, or a polite "you're too expensive for us, goodbye".
I get the impression there's a major cultural aspect to this, with negotiation tactics that are considered acceptable or not in each culture. Does anyone have any experiences confirming or denying this? I don't think I'll stake my reputation in this small-ish city on trying this out.
Not sure if this is a cultural thing, but from my experience most salespeople and lawyers in america employ this tactic (and many others like htem!), so I recommend everyone on HN read these books to know when you're being taken advantage of. Merely identifying the tactic often neurtralizes it in any real world way.
For example, you can phrase it as "At top places like $ExampleOne, $ExampleTwo, people in my position earn between $X+80%, X+100%". You then go from there. You can also lower the start of the range or increase the end of the range, make that gap wider. Every employer will go to the initial range given and try to bring you down on it because of "excuses". you are allowed to go down up to 3 times by 10-15%, with the "say no without saying no" technique. At the end, you give the non-round number (e.g 134,567$ per year) which gives the impression you put some thought into it.
Another thing he mentioned is that money is not everything. Ask for more days or perks. If they can't meet you on those they might instead bump your salary.
It's also about putting in a bit of theatrics. For example, when I gave my final number for my salary I paused and said "give me a moment" and scribbled something on a piece of paper. After that I said my non-round number. It worked.
No technique is fool-proof. All it takes though is for it to work most of the time.
Eg you can pretend that you have another offer. But if someone calls your bluff, you shouldn't come back begging. If you need to, don't bluff.
There's nothing backing up the bluff, apart from your willingness to walk away.
The book actually explains quite well which negotiation tactics don’t work when faced with life and death situations (hostage negotiation) and goes on to explain which ones do and why they actually work better in everyday negotiations as well.
I recommend the audio as Voss narrates... And voice is important.