We miss the city and our friends, but couldn't see ourselves there long term.
New York City is expensive, but there are areas of relative affordability that feel much more accessible, comfortable, and safer than the Bay Area.
Could you share which areas? I've been exploring NYC as well but have yet to stumble upon any areas that match what you described.
If you choose to live close enough to a train station, almost everything of interest is within 20-40 mins by train. Subway is not exactly great, but it's safe and works around the clock in most places. (To say nothing of the fact that in most places the daily necessities are within walking distance, even in not-so-dense Brooklyn.)
It makes places in Brooklyn, Queens, New Jersey, and Long Island accessible with a reasonable commute.
Even in Manhattan, though, the rents are similar to SF but we've found you get slightly more for it.
We're finding it tough to live in a city with two kids, and we'd prefer to live somewhere with a lower cost of living.