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I think a deciding factor would be your ability to get a scholarship for college. If you can do a 2/4 year degree without going into massive debt, then definitely do that.

If school == expensive no matter what, then maybe it's worth self teaching a little longer. Try to get one or two interviews (after at least a few months! probably won't happen overnight) and if it's really not working, then you can reevaluate.

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can you recommend some good scholarships to apply towards? how do people even get scholarships they seem like a dream almost

You might qualify for need-based financial aid, provided in part from the university scholarship funds. I believe the only way to know for sure is to apply, be accepted to enroll into the university, and then receive the financial aid package.

I would definitely check out the community college for the first two years. I think you have to be careful on which courses will transfer, and the community college may not offer every course equivalent to the first two years of a CS degree. I think you will save (potentially a lot) of money and position yourself to be more competitive for a top university.

I'm not sure off the top of my head, but you could try asking administrators at a few schools nearby. They might say on their website.

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