Frankly, I'm okay with an uncaring bank. I would give more weight to the bank's accessibility (i.e. locations, ATMs, international charge fees, etc) and consistency/quality of service (app usability/downtime, good 1800 customer service).
you don't get good customer service (via phone or otherwise) at a big bank, as they see it as a cost center to be minimized. smaller banks use good service as a differentiator/product enhancement.
but yes, international charges can vary a bit.