> you can't really have a data structure that mains O(1) as it's size increases to infinity.
At the level of abstraction that comexity analysis is usually done, you can. For example, a lookup in an array (a[X]) has O(1) worse-case complexity no matter how large the array is.
Of course, this relies on a few abstractions - that random memory access has uniform cost; and that basic numeric operations have uniform cost regardless of the size of the operands. Of course, in real computers, both of these assumptions are wrong (adding terabyte-size numbers is not as fast as adding byte-sized numbers, large amounts of memory can't usually be stored on random-access hardware etc.), but that does not necessarily impact the usefulness of complexity analysis.
For hash-tables in particular, the worse-case complexity for key lookup depends on some guarantees from the hash algorithm. If you had a magical hash that is unique for any key in your domain, than lookup would be O(1) for a hash table of n elements, as n approaches infinity. Since that is not a good abstraction, we need to model the table using hash functions that can create collisions, and the worse case becomes that O(n) elements collide and get put into the same bucket, giving worse-case complexity of O(n). Adding elements to the hash table is a different operation, same as for the array.