Comment by tony | Hacker News Reader

Comment by tony | Hacker News Reader

I got the book by the author (Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families by Susan M. Johnson) on kindle but haven't read it yet. I was on a book buying binge a few weeks ago for anything related to attachment theory.

More on EFT: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotionally_focused_therapy

Regarding attachment theory itself: A major paper in adult attachment theory is Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process, https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1d36/ac75d7081fcd86d467f6d2....

For further reading, stuff by Cindy Hazan, Phillip Shaver, Mario Mikulincer is good

Attachment theory originally was focused on early stage development in children by John Bowlby. Later it was expanded as a way to conceptualize relationships beyond the child and caregiver, things like friendships, work colleagues, bandmates, etc.

Examples where modern attachment theory could be used formulate a hypothesis (or analyze if you have more than conjecture):

- why a band breaks up

- why CrunchPad failed (https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/30/crunchpad-end/)

- in interpersonal relations, contradictory, anxious, afraid, erratic behavior - or on the other hand - secure and trusting around someone or a group.

Attachment can explain lasting, functional relationships.

I guess in HN-speak, there could be dyads between startup co-founders, founder <-> employee, investor <-> founder, employee <-> employee. Those cooperational things bubble up into group dynamics and product formation / stuff shipping.

New startup idea: Founder therapy :)

Yes! I like to think my life (relationships, work performance, hiring, firing, well-being) would have been completely different had I known about and understood attachment theory. (I have only learned about it in the last few years.) For me, it explains nearly everything in psychology that has been unclear or mysterious.

My go-to reference is

Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair by Daniel P. Brown PhD & David S. Elliott PhD. [0]

It's a dry academic text intended for therpists that details the development of therapeutic approaches based on attachment theory, as well as specific treatment protocols for various insecure attachment styles.

Change is possible, as is working with people who have attachment difficulties.

George Haas, a meditation teacher in LA, has developed a way of using Vipassana meditation as a method of self-therapy.[1]

[0] https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Disturbances-Adults-Treatm...

[1] https://www.mettagroup.org/classes#intensives

I really enjoyed Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love by Levine and Heller [0].

The description of the “types” (avoidant, secure, anxious) was very eye-opening, especially while scoring your own “traits” / tendencies / “patterns” for each type. You sorta know what it means when you answer “very likely” to many questions that point to the same type.

As far as I understand, the book is based on this same Attachment theory — it’s a lighter read / introduction to it, but still very good to get the point across. (I didn’t find it as useful to help deal with / compensate for the non-secure type’s thought patterns — not as much as David Burns’ wonderful Feeling Good, for instance)

[0] https://www.amazon.ca/Attached-Science-Attachment-Find-Keep/...

If you like David Burns, let me recommend his Feeling Good Podcast. One of the most impactful episodes is one where he works with a woman dying of cancer. You can hear him apply his techniques to a seemingly hopeless situation in real life. It was eye-opening for me, even having read Feeling Good.

Thank you for the recommendation! From [0] (first question on the page), I gather that you’re referring to Marilyn’s case?

Thanks again

[0] https://feelinggood.com/2019/03/11/129-ask-david-how-can-i-d...

Yes, it was Marilyn. She's in two episodes recorded two years apart. The one I listened to was the second one[0].

[0] https://feelinggood.com/2019/09/23/159-live-therapy-with-mar...

> modern attachment theory could be used to formulate a hypothesis ... there could be dyads between startup co-founders, founder <-> employee, investor <-> founder, employee <-> employee

No question.

// source: former serial co-founder

Attachment theory is one of those things you shouldn't get into unless you're ready to see it in yourself.

// source: several years of therapy after that realisation

Founder Therapy exists! Amity Chicago focuses on founder relationships and work with TechStars among others. https://www.amitychicago.com/

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