Wow, this is literally the exact reason I loathe remote working! I've been working remotely for almost 5 years now and I'm about to jump ship at my current job specifically so I can find a job that has a physical office to go to. I find that the lack of a routine causes a significant increase in stress in my life. It's an actual dream of mine to go back to a 'normal' job where I go into an office and sit at a normal desk with a normal work schedule, and then can just go home or to the gym at 6pm and enjoy my non-work life.
Having that separation helps me "leave work" when it is technically at the same location. It does also require a good bit of discipline because it is easy to slip back into work at any point in the day.
Many argue that you should "work when you feel like it" but I personally find that leads to burn out. If I can keep a regiment that I don't deviate much/at all from, I am mentally healthier.
yes because most of us don't know how to turn that off!
Mental health must become a priority when working remote. Separation is a key way to stay ahead of the degradation. Even if you're not a person who tends to go outside, you HAVE TO when you work remote. Lack of face to face interaction will eat you very slowly over the years.
It can't just be with your usual people either. You need to have a level of unexpected interactions with other humans to stay a happy person. I'm not a psychologist, but I've had this happen to me and any other colleague I know who worked remote. It's a very real thing – respect it.
All the work code, emails, tickets etc. are on it and once it's closed for the day I it needs to fired up again to do any additional work, which surprisingly serves enough as a barrier.
Working whenever you feel like it is hell, I agree.
I've been remote working for years and I now find that my most productive times are "in-the-zone bursts" of work. What used to take a whole day I can now get done in a couple of hours.
So, now I find less of an imperative to keep a structure. My new rule is to just be very vigilant about when my brain wants to do the work... and when I get the feeling jump right in.
It's weird but it seems to work well in my case!
My experience working remotely is almost the same as working in an office. My only added benefits are a lack of commute and job opportunities that aren't available to me in the small remote town I'm in. If it wasn't for remote work I wouldn't even be a software developer. This allows me to be a software developer and raise my kids in the same town as their grandparents. In fact living in the same town I was raised in may aid in the social isolation a lot of people feel. I could see working remotely in a town you have no/small amount of friends being very isolating.
When I leave my office (a dedicated space), I'm done for the day, but that's also due to the culture at my workplace. It's possible to have both, is all I'm saying. Remote doesn't mean no routine.
That’s one of the biggest improvements in quality of life when I work remotely. I find working in an office (especially open space or cubes) very exhausting due to noise and lack of privacy. So I come home at night totally exhausted and do nothing. When I work from home I naturally feel motivated to do something after work which I find very positive.
But, and this can be hard for people, you have to make an effort to be social. The default that someone works with you they will likely have to talk to you is no longer an option.
I need socialization at least once/week or I start getting depressed.
I'm into music, so I joined our local community choir. It's not necessarily the style of music I listen to on my own or like to play/perform (I'm more into guitar and folk music), but its a very social activity that gets me out of the house once a week, with people that I have some things in common. I've made some great friends and got to know a lot of people in my community that I would not have otherwise.
I really start to miss it when we're off-season (long summer break), because of that feeling you get when you haven't left the house for a week or so. :)
Becoming remote didn't change that. But traveling while being remote did. It's hard not to walk into great wall of socializing to balance out all the abstract work we do day today.
Personally, I kicked started it by putting all my stuff in storage. I also started slowly by traveling within the US and moving month to month. My boss does it cool, important to note that not all remote work environments will be okay with you traveling.
It also makes me appreciate time with my family more.
Balance is the key.
It's very subjective and varies but I find it not too hard to attain.
P.s. I've been working remotely for 18 years now.
Some parts of the world can be isolating. You may want to talk to your wife about moving back to a more civilized place.
OP, talk to your spouse and try to go back there!