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Comment by bitL | Hacker News Reader

Your team lead is already planning your departure. The business exit is in sight, it's now time to claim all the credit; by pushing you out she wouldn't need to share any rewards with you - those minor issues are a technique how to get you to "make a decision to quit". Make a case with the founders to become her boss and brace for a full-scale war; when it comes to money, people will go unimaginably low; CYA. And to cope with burnout, try to practice emotional restraint, accept some people are just horrible and treat it as a stoic as something that won't affect you internally. Also, if that person succeeds in pushing you out, they are likely going to have a stellar career ahead of them, so it's a good chance to ground another possible asshole wreaking havoc in the industry.

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I think you've hit the heart of the issue here. Looks like there's currently a power struggle going on, OP probably doesn't realize it and is currently positioned for the losing end of it.

There's a possibility for taking this fight. Would be a great learning experience in politics regardless of outcome, if they want to subject themselves to the pressure and discomfort. But might not be worth it. Would require navigating both political conflict and a proper negotiation of terms afterwards, if successful, to ensure they get recognition for their work and also monetary rewards. Important to try to disconnect feeling of self-worth from the outcome and try to treat it as a high-stakes game. The default is quitting or getting fired, unlikely to do worse than that regardless.

OP's technical accomplishments remains on their CV, and this has probably been a great learning experience from that perspective regardless. There's something to be said for standing up for one's self-respect in taking a fight like this rather than be pushed out without trying to defend oneself, but it's a rough process and might or might not be worth the pain. Depending on circumstances and motivation.

Yeah the OP is thinking too much in terms of "fair" and doesn't understand negative performance reviews and stuff like that because OP is expecting them to be reasonable.

OP should step to the founders no doubt. Just tell them what he or she built and that teamlead X is forcing her or him out. If they want to keep you they need to decide in a reasonable timespan to be decided by themselves. Starting interviewing elsewhere anyway.

Out of curiosity, why did you assume the team lead is a "she"? OP always used "they", would have not been easier to just follow the initial convention?

Out of curiosity, why did you choose this comment to call out, rather than the numerous other comments that used "he" to refer to the TL?

Because it was the first I saw.

I use "she" when I don't know the gender or "preferred pronoun" of a person in question. Is that bad? It was suggested to me as "polite" by some Cambridge graduates.

My personal pronoun is 'giant cock'. If I was in this situation and you assumed it was 'she', I would be offended.

Assuming it's a 'she' is also a form of automatically mis-gendering someone.

It's a way to be permanently offended I guess. I can play the game that my preferred pronoun is secret but if you don't read my mind and guess it correctly, you become my paper enemy and I will be very very meaninglessly upset in whichever microsecond I happen to think about you.

So are you suggesting because they’re Cambridge grads they are the authority on “polite?” I am not a Cambridge grad, but I find it quite rude to assume a gendered pronoun when one has not been provided.

I have no opinion; my mother tongue is not English and is much more flexible in this regard. I simply followed some well-meant advice from people I respect.

I disagree, i find it to be a point pf clarification but not rude. Perhaps I have a different cultural expectation than you do

Reading your profile I’m not sure your intentions in this comment. Rest assured I am not virtue signaling.

Generally I think it's best to stick with the pronouns that have already been used to refer to the individual (in this case "they").

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