Is it exhausting? Oh, yes. It's why I quit and now work on proprietary software full-time; that environment burned me out.
Is it a problem solely with GNOME? No, it's all throughout the Linux and FOSS ecosystems. If you want to fix it, you need to fix it everywhere, not just GNOME. But turns out the people that stay around to contribute to these projects thrive on this sort of stuff, so it's hard to change.
I’ve seen friends grow their professional skills in this environment, learning that being a jerk is ok. They then try to transfer this to corporate employment, leading to predictable issues. They of course don’t understand their own role in these issues, blaming everyone else who just “don’t get it.”
I'd put money on the exact same conversations happening at Apple and Microsoft, but in those cases it's happening behind closed doors.
Isn't this "drama" too?
No drama version: There are some feuds in Gnome, like they are in any FOSS or proprietary project/team.
I was contributing to GNOME for about a decade (1999 to 2011), mostly i18n, l10n and bug reporting.