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Comment by ramgorur | Hacker News Reader

There are many interesting ideas about how to come up with a "fair" online dating market.

But I guess everyone is completely disregarding the basics of human nature, attraction is mostly based on "looks/facial aesthetics":

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPillScience/

In a free/unregulated sexual market, women are the selectors, not men. Women are biologically hardwired to select good looking males (irrespective of his money, personality or social status). Therefore ugly people don't get matches. Very simple.

No matter how many ways you try to engineer/fix the system, it's not going to work. Because the existing system is already doing what it is supposed to do.

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I don't think that's universally true. Being attractive certainly can help make good impressions easier (and I've known insufferable people coast by on good looks too) but I don't think it's the be-all or end-all of romance.

I've known women that have broken up with or turned down attractive men because they didn't enjoy talking with them, or had different political views, or wanted to have/not have children. Conversely, I've known men that didn't exactly look like movie stars end up in relationships with nice-looking women too. That's not even considering same-sex attraction either. Heck, I've turned people down to date less physically-attractive people in the past too.

In the online dating market of 2019 looks is all that matters. Because of these reasons:

1. Online dating mostly depends on looks, it's based on your pictures. Almost no woman reads your bio. Simply because people don't have time (this is another reason why new apps like tinder and bumble even don't give you enough spaces to write about yourself, because it doesn't matter at the end).

2. If a woman does not find an attractive man "interesting" after first couple of dates or so, she can easily find another attractive man with "interesting" personality. They do not have to go for an ugly male with interesting personality. Because women (even average/non-attractive ones) have an extremely large dating pool, men don't. For example:

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=168948903&pa...

3. Almost no woman picks a mate based on political views. I have seen die hard leftist women dating neonazi guys.

https://mtonews.com/.image/t_share/MTUzODEzNzk4OTYyMDc5NDg2/...

Same sex (specially between men and men) is a completely different ballgame. The mate choice strategy of women is completely different from that of men.

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