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I agree. I think it's rambling but it's not horrible. I think

> It was a dark and stormy night.

or even

> It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents.

are actually excellent. I like the rest of it as well. It just shouldn't be a single sentence.

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents. At times it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets -- for it is in London that our scene lies -- rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

I'm not a professional writer but I personally like this rephrasing.

In a Kindle novel it would be:

London. Thunder. Rain.

Why is that? Does Kindle limit the number of words?

Alexander Blok (Russian poet)

A direct translation:

Night, street, lamp, drugstore, A dull and meaningless light. Go on and live another quarter century - Nothing will change. There's no way out.

You'll die, then start from the beginning, It will repeat, just like before: Night, icy ripples on a canal, Drugstore, street, lamp.

More attempts here: https://ruverses.com/alexander-blok/night-street-lamp-drugst...

You could do 'swept up the London streets' quite easily, which saves an authorial interjection that's part of the whole Bulwer-Lytton vibe.

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