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Comment by monkeynotes | Hacker News Reader

> No pressure, no public commenting and no rejection

Adults need to learn how to handle rejection. It's so essential to learning how to be happy in the real world.

People who are lonely because they fear rejection need to fix the fear of rejection part before they will actually experience a real friendship. Being open with each other is essential to friendship, and being open risks rejection.

Friendship isn't a individualistic pursuit, it involves multiple personalities and is full of risk and rejection. No reward without risk, contrary to what you might be sold on to mask your social anxiety.

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> Adults need to learn how to handle rejection. It's so essential to learning how to be happy in the real world.

There's a difference between someone rejecting you, and a bunch of anon/pseudonymous trolls piling on.

Fine, then adults need to learn how to handle a bunch of anon/pseudo-anonymous trolls piling on.

Myself probably included.

It's contrary to human nature to shrug off bullying. Even if you are strong, it changes and traumatizes you. Society should not rely on people growing unhealthy thick skin.

A lot of "ought" in what you're saying, but there's a stark reality that clashes with that ideology, and it's how little you can control others.

You shouldn't have to deal with people being assholes, so when they are you should let yourself get hurt? You shouldn't have to deal with drunk drivers, so you shouldn't wear your seatbelt?

> You shouldn't have to deal with drunk drivers, so you shouldn't wear your seatbelt?

No, but you're suggesting that we should all armor our cars. I'm suggesting that we should work to change the system so that instances drunk driving are dramatically decreased.

I would suggest armoring our cars if it were anything but absurdly impractical.

Getting to know yourself better, and understanding how bullying is a projection of others, and not related to who you are as a person is immensely practical.

> Fine, then adults need to learn how to handle a bunch of anon/pseudo-anonymous trolls piling on.

Why should we just accept this as a state of the world?

Because a) it is the state of the world, and dealing with reality is important to living a healthy life, and b) controlling how others effect you is a tried and true way of maintaining happiness when you're not in control, which you rarely are in life.

But we're pretty brainy apes, we change the world we live in for the better.

Not always.

I don't think humans are evolved for such stress

This is assuming that the fear of rejection is wrong. For some people, it's a valid concern.

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