This has been my problem with cats. They are hit or miss. I've grown up with cats and dogs and enjoyed both of their company. I never once had an unfriendly/bad dog. At least half the cats I had were... "distant" to say the least. Didn't really want attention, liked to be off on their own, etc.
Of course, the good ones are so great. A nice kitty is a really great thing and if it weren't such a dice roll, I'd have cats now.
Went missing one day, and we never saw her again. Everyone in my family was heartbroken.
I can certainly understand and agree that for a cat being so aloof and carefree probably isn't a great survival trait. Something got her, probably a coyote.
I had another cat growing up that was far more distant. Didn't really like being held / pet (but would endure it). She was a hunter. Regularly brought back kills. She lived into old age, and died peacefully.
Once in his old age he didn't return for about a week; we thought he had died. We put up posters for him around the neighborhood-it turns out that a family who lived in a house several streets away had "adopted" him (this was before RFID chipping). I still miss him.
There's a crucial period between 8 and 12 weeks (IIRC) where if a kitten isn't handled regularly they are likely to always be somewhat wary around people. If you want an affectionate cat your best bet is finding a breeder and visiting them to make sure they're treating the kittens well and interacting frequently with them.
I've owned or lived with a lot of cats over the years and the difference is very obvious, especially if you're a stranger.