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Comment by riantogo | Hacker News Reader

Do you see little kids losing it over little things like not getting their art work just right? Or a bit older kid getting very upset over something their friend said? Or maybe a young graduate taking their first job extremely seriously?

We even play along and parents share a chuckle at their “important” problems, appreciating their young and limited perspective, and knowing everything will be just fine. Now consider how grandma thinks of that critical deadline of your “world changing“ project or that important deal that are losing sleep over. I always try to think about their perspective during stressful times :)

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I've seen that effect reverse as some people got old (think over 90). Some became more prone to worry about small stuff. I'm guessing the sense of reduced autonomy can make small problems seem worse, and not without reason.

I grew up being taught to view elders as wise and thoughtful people who should be respected above all others. However my experience with most people over, say, 85 has been highly entitled, highly incapable, easily manipulated, and uninterested in doing anything but watching tv. Now of course, I recognize there are many old people who do not fit that mold. I also personally know plenty who are active and engaged.

But I also cannot think of anyone who fits that image of a sagacious, wise elder. Nor, upon reflection, do I think anyone I know, myself included, is likely to be that person when old.

I totally buy that wisdom accumulated in years 0-60. I feel it will on average hold or drop thereonafter

You'll find people of all types in all ages. Age is only passingly correlated with an increase in wisdom or intelligence. I promise you that there are elders worth respecting as there are those worth dismissing. I hope you get to meet some eventually.

But is that stress what got the kid to be better at art ? Obsessing over what others said led you to understand other people and yourself ? Taking your first job seriously built habits and earned you credit among your peers ?

I don't think acting like a 70 year old in 20s/30s/40s is wise - you're not retired with most of your accomplishments behind you.

Taking something seriously and being stressed/obsessed are two different things

I'm pretty sure the answers to the questions you have posed is - no.

People who appear to me to live happy lives don't seem to have gone through those phases to get there, or regard them as important.

Improving mainly by negative pressures sucks, life should be enjoyed and not sucked through because you're in some rat race with your imaginary/real competitors. Of course nobody is going to stop you if you prefer it that way, but I'll make my best to discourage similar approach in my kids/friends

> "...life should be enjoyed and not sucked through because you're in some rat race with your imaginary/real competitors"

Reminds me of words from Mary Schmich's famous "Sunscreen" column (https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/chi-schmich-sunscreen...): "... Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself."

Not sure whether I agree with you and her or not. Yes, the race is damned long and I recognize that it is ultimately only with myself. On the other hand, much like trying to beat your own high score, it can be kind of fun and, perhaps more realistically, like many I have nothing better to do.

> I have nothing better to do

I think I get your message... Wouldn't you consider finding something better to strive for a win for you? It all depends on what we do for living, there is a difference when working for a faceless corporation du jour and for example in an NGO saving lives / company properly building a better future (ie SpaceX). Unfortunately most of us including me fall into the first category of that corp.

I think I do have found this 'better' stuff for myself, in form of adventures, travel and slightly extreme sports. It brings sense of accomplishment that no software developed would, refills my batteries over weekend like nothing in the city can. But that's me (and my wife).

Life is so damn short. If you don't feel like it, just wait a bit more.

How do you know that most of your accomplishments are behind you at 70?

It's likely a reasonable assumption but is not always true. I don't know why people can't just say things that on average sound reasonable without some internet police officer having to call them out?

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