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Comment by slx26 | Hacker News Reader

I've always had an extremely bad memory, paired with behaviors that probably don't help at all. I have always thought (non-scientific, highly subjective text ahead) that a big part of the problem (the behavioral side) is that I never talk about the events of my life with others. I'm highly asocial, and even when I end up explaining something, I hate to repeat the same stories twice. I use alarms and calendars for everything. I've come to think that a big problem for my memory is precisely the fact that I never reinforce previous memories, I never link or associate them to new memories (for example, of myself reviving the memories when explaining them to other people). So, there's no repetition, and they kinda fade away sooner than later. The more disconnected the memories remain, the harder it becomes to recall them.

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>I have always thought (non-scientific, highly subjective text ahead) that a big part of the problem (the behavioral side) is that I never talk about the events of my life with others.

I've had the same hunch. I think some memories need repeating so that you can continue remembering them. Most of the memories that I have from my early childhood are ones that I think about once in a while. I had three serious falls with a skateboard before the age of 7, but I only remember the worst of the falls. It's the one I always thought of when I was reminded of those falls (broke a tooth, so any time I look in the mirror I might be reminded of it). At this point I only remember that I did fall before the worst one and I remember the extent of my injuries, but I don't even remember the specific place of it.

> I think some memories need repeating so that you can continue remembering them. Most of the memories that I have from my early childhood are ones that I think about once in a while.

I think this is exactly true. And for example if someone else is involved in the memory and you relate it to them they wonder 'how did you remember that it happened X years ago??'. But as you say it's that every now and then (at least with me) you have thought about it and reinforced the memory. The other person has not typically. Which is why they are surprised that you remember the event. So yes you 'remind' yourself I think this is true from what I experience as well.

You sound like me. I've always wondered how the hell do people tell all these stories about their life in such a great detail, while I was struggling with remembering what I did yesterday. Then I learned that I have aphantasia. It was a mind blowing discovery, but it didn't affect me much, I just found it to be an interesting topic to think about sometimes.

Then, I found out about SDAM, and I was utterly devastated. I basically don't have memory when compared to other people. I can learn knowledge about something, but I can't actually remember anything, because for other people, remembering involves "re-living" that situation almost as though as if it was happening again.

SDAM stuff completely drives me crazy, as I feel that I'm missiog out on a something that is fundamental to the human life. So I just try not to think about SDAM further, and pretend that it's all a joke and everybody's experience is exactly as mine.

> I use alarms and calendars for everything

Ironically, this may make your "memory" of the event better than others'.

At work, people sometimes thought I had a bad memory because I wrote stuff down in a notebook...3 years later, when they couldn't remember something...well, I wrote that down, let me check. :-)

Are you looking for a job? In my experience that may be the number one differentiator among employees, how much random crap they keep in their notes and are able to reference again later.

I agree. After I graduated from college my first boss at work gave me a square deal notebook and told me to take a page of notes each day recording important details of what I worked in. This helped me HUGELY.

I am retired now but in my last job managing a machine learning team at Capital One, I did the same thing except using Emacs and org mode, like recording good things that my reports did for their reviews, meeting notes (usually written up after the fact), tech ideas, etc.

I also take notes on vacations, good recipes I run across, etc.

EDIT: I think the act of writing things down helps my memory, regardless of future use of notes.

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